Sacha Allen Office Administrator, Qualitas
Slinky and Zero Dachshunds
Slinky likes: The ball, a belly scratch and, most of all, his mama.
Zero likes: To lick people and chew Slinky’s ears off (literally).
Most diva behaviour: Slinky sleeps on my legs every single night like it’s his legal right. Zero chews my most expensive things and wees on anything in the house that isn’t where it belongs.
Their bed or yours? Mine. Their lives are so short (so are their legs) and I want to spend as much time with them as possible. They’re the best snugglers.
Gourmet or garbage eater? Slinky wants what I’m having. Zero eats anything left within reach, be it shoes or, unfortunately, chocolate.
If they could talk, what would they say? “Why do you leave us every day to go to 101, and why can’t we come?”
How would they behave in a meeting? Slinky would find the perfect lap to cuddle and sleep on. Zero would lick each person individually as though it’s his duty of care.
If they had jobs at 101 Collins, what would they do? Slinky would be CEO of any industry, his way or the highway. Or a model. Zero would be a receptionist, greeting everyone with kisses and sniffs, and stealing
their food on the way in if possible.
Ray Ciantar Engineering Services, 101 Collins
Coco Pomeranian
Likes: Plenty of walks, having her back and underbelly rubbed, doggie treats, riding in the car and meeting new people.
Dislikes: Bathing, having her nails clipped, not going for regular walks, sudden loud noises, retrieving balls.
Most diva behaviour: She doesn’t like coming home from walks.
Their bed or yours? Loves her bed and the couch.
Gourmet or garbage eater? Gourmet food. She’s a bit fussy sometimes and her main diet is chicken and rice.
If Coco could talk, what would she say? “Please walk me every day!”
How would Coco behave in a meeting? Well-mannered and relaxed.
If Coco had a job at 101 Collins, what would she do? A therapist who greets and warms up to everyone.
Georgia Ellis Managing Senior Associate, Pinsent Masons
Watson Golden Retriever
Likes: Pats, treats, finding muddy puddles.
Most diva behaviour: Expects a parade of pats as he struts down the street.
Their bed or yours? His (thankfully!)
Gourmet or garbage eater? Gourmet
If Watson could talk, what would he say? Would ask for more treats.
How would he behave in a meeting? He would do laps of the room, drooling on everyone.
If Watson had a job at 101 Collins, what would he do? He’d be Nathan’s right-hand man, welcoming everyone into the building, tail wagging.
Maddie Caldwell Executive Assistant, On The Spot
Percy Rescue Greyhound
Likes: Croissants and zoomies.
Dislikes: Bright lights and being disturbed during naps.
Most diva behaviour: Greyhounds have so many quirks, it’s hard to pick just one. Percy’s teeth chatter when he gets scratches or belly rubs, he sleeps for about 18 hours a day, and he’s terrified of hot air balloons.
Their bed or yours? More like ‘our’ bed.
Gourmet or garbage eater? Gourmet all the way. He eats better than I do.
If Percy could talk, what would he say? “Can someone please explain why Petbarn isn’t open 24/7?”
How would he behave in a meeting? He’d probably sleep on the job.
If Percy had a job at 101 Collins, what would he do? Wellness Director at RISE.
Karin Mowlem Director, Investment, Wingate
Dudley Cavalier King Charles Spaniel
Likes: Playing fetch, stealing socks, eating treats, sticking his head out the car window, feeling the wind in his ears, playing in the leaves, chewing on sticks and cuddles with mum.
Dislikes: Being brushed, all dog treats except the two he actually likes, pubs that don’t allow dogs inside.
Most diva behaviour: He’s learned to ring the bell we hang from the front door to tell us when he needs to go outside to relieve himself, but sometimes he will ring it for attention or to go outside for a sniff-tour of the neighbourhood.
Their bed or yours? Dudley sleeps downstairs in his bed (unless dad is out of town, then he is very much in bed with me).
Gourmet or garbage eater? My mum makes homecooked meals for him every week (chicken, veggies and bone broth). He eats like a king. And loves a bit of shark cartilage as a treat for dessert.
If Dudley could talk, what would he say? “Can we please go and play fetch? Also, can I have some more treats?”
How would he behave in a meeting? He would fall asleep on someone’s lap.
If Dudley had a job at 101 Collins, what would he do? Greet everyone at the door and ask for a belly rub. I’m not sure if that role’s going, but he’d be great at it.
Angus Fischer Client & Product Implementation Project Manager, Janus Henderson Investors
Roger Golden Retriever
Likes: People and to be included, so we always bring him along on our adventures.
Dislikes: Loud noises, trams – and skateboards in particular make him very skittish!
Most diva behaviour: Like many dogs, he’s dramatic when you don’t follow routine. He’s non-vocal, so if he doesn’t get his nightly treats he will simply stare at you with his gentle and judgmental eyes until he gets it.
Their bed or yours? Our bed, but this has only happened recently since he’s gotten older. There’s plenty of attitude when you don’t let him on the bed now.
Gourmet or garbage eater? Both. If we’re out walking, he’s like a vacuum cleaner trying to hoover any perceived ‘food’ he can find before you notice.
If Roger could talk, what would he say? “Don’t leave me at home by myself ever again.”
How would he behave in a meeting? He would be making the rounds in the room to make sure everyone pats him. As soon as anyone makes eye contact with him, it’s over – head scratches are compulsory.
If Roger had a job at 101 Collins, what would he do? Definitely a therapist. He’s the ultimate de-stresser. He’s always a fan favourite anywhere we go with his big smile and friendly nature.
Stephen Hosie Managing Director and Partner, Melbourne Office Leader,
Health Care Practice Leader, BCG
Otis Frenchie
Likes: Food, sun, jam-hands on children, Bunnings, getting photographed, having many jackets, convincing us to take him on driving holidays, irritating the largest dog at the dog park,
antagonising vets that try to trim his nails.
Most diva behaviour: Otis chooses when he’s finished exercising, which is often before we get home. He’s regularly spotted riding in the undercarriage of the pram or slung over my shoulder for the walk home.
Their bed or yours? His. By his choice. He doesn’t like to be disturbed.
Gourmet or garbage eater? Gourmet all the way. It’s common for us to be cooking dinner and realise that Otis has a better-quality meal than we do. He goes on hunger strike if he doesn’t get fresh steamed chicken and will spit peas out of any mixed vegetables.
If Otis could talk for a minute, what would he say? “Why can’t I come to work with you? I’ve had my little tie ready for five years!”
How would he behave in a meeting? He’s been in many virtual meetings. His snoring was a real issue before Zoom’s noise cancellation feature.
If Otis had a job at 101 Collins, what would he do? Something in sales – his confidence would make him a rainmaker.
Dr Felicia Pradera Director, Regional Research Centre and Strategic Alliances, Moderna
Beefcake Bulldog
Likes: He’s equal parts farmer’s market regular and recycling enthusiast. He loves fresh fruit and vegetables, but nothing brings him more joy than shredding an unsuspecting toilet roll.
Most diva behaviour: He refuses to walk in the rain and expects full umbrella service for bathroom breaks. He also has impeccable timing and only demands attention the second I’m on a phone or Teams call.
Their bed or yours? He has his own blanket on my bed, which I think is his way of pretending we still have boundaries.
Gourmet or garbage eater? At home, he’s extremely bougie and expects fresh meat, rice and vegetables for every meal. Outside, he becomes a tiny opportunist known as the “drive-by chomper”.
If Beefcake could talk for a minute, what would he say? He’s incredibly stubborn but completely devoted, so I imagine it would be a running commentary of demands followed immediately by complaints about
those demands not being met.
How would he behave in a meeting? Silent, observant and deeply judgemental. He’d contribute nothing but somehow make everyone feel evaluated.
If Beefcake had a job at 101 Collins, what would he do? He’d probably work in luxury client relations. Very polished, highly selective with people and expecting premium snacks and excellent service at all times.
Phoebe Hermiston National Talent Acquisition Manager, SPP
Luna Terrier
Likes: Walks anywhere, but especially the beach and the dog park. Any toy is a good toy. Big fan of thick carpet or rugs where she can drag her whole body along and roll around. Also loves hanging out with her
best friend, a greyhound named Maggie.
Dislikes: Being left at home and being pulled away from mysterious scraps she’s discovered on the ground.
Most diva behaviour: Very talkative, particularly in the mornings when she’s ready for a walk. If we’re ever sitting at a table, she’ll jump up and fall asleep on your lap with her head resting on the table.
Their bed or yours? Our bed. No questions.
Gourmet or garbage eater? She’ll eat anything that seems even remotely edible.
If Luna could talk for a minute, what would she say? “As long as I’m with my people, I feel safe, loved and right at home. Also, can I eat that?”
How would she behave in a meeting? Calm at first, quietly observing, then curling up and falling asleep halfway through.
If Luna had a job at 101 Collins, what would she do? Head of Floor Patrol, ensuring no crumb goes undiscovered.
Amber-Lee Kristensen Associate Director, Intermediary Client Group, Janus Henderson Investors
Jupiter Greyhound
Likes: Car rides and new parks.
Dislikes: Other dogs stealing human attention.
Most diva behaviour: Throws a full tantrum if you don’t share your food, dramatic cries and stomping of the feet included.
Their bed or yours? Officially his bed at night, unofficially ours whenever we leave the house.
Gourmet or garbage eater? A refined gentleman with expensive taste, loves a salmon-skin poke bowl, but would sell his mother for a box of McNuggets.
If Jupiter could talk, what would he say? “I’d like to formally complain about the lack of snacks and excessive Teams calls.”
How would he behave in a meeting? Sleep through the whole thing, zero contribution but still the personality hire.
If Jupiter had a job at 101 Collins, what would he do? Bin Audit Officer, ensuring no decent scraps make it to the organic bin and generously offering to clean out milk containers before recycling.
Ella Clarke Associate, Pinsent Masons
Maverick Leonberger
Likes: Sardines and chasing his two brothers (cats).
Dislikes: Being alone and bedtime.
Most diva behaviour: When he’s outside, he likes to sit at the door and act like he wants to come inside and then when you open the door he runs away. He does this mostly at nighttime when he knows it’s nearly bedtime.
Their bed or yours? He sleeps in the laundry on his own bed (not much room for a 60kg dog in a queen bed!)
Gourmet or garbage eater? Gourmet. I would hate to think how much money we spend on his top of the range kibble and treats!
If Maverick could talk, what would he say? “My dad is the best” (even though mum is the one who originally wanted him, feeds him and walks him).
How would Maverick behave in a meeting? He would sit and rest his chin on the table and give everyone the puppy dog eyes until someone
acknowledged him (he is the perfect table height).
If Maverick had a job at 101 Collins, what would he do? He would be a great concierge; he loves people and pats!
Paul Gillett, Corporate Services
Rylee French Bulldog
Likes: Walks and meeting other dogs, teddy bears and pigs (toys), breakfast and dinnertime.
Dislikes: Bathtime, not going for walks, me going to work.
Most diva behaviour: Prime position on the lounge, fluffing his pillow just right so he can rest his head and eventually start to snore.
Their bed or yours? Ours or should I say his?
Gourmet or garbage eater? Gourmet. Homemade dinner using all raw ingredients. Breakfast is pieces of poached chicken.
If Rylee could talk, what would he say? “When I sit and stare at you from across the room, I want to go for a walk or want dinner… now.”
How would he behave in a meeting? On arrival, evaluate the other attendees, then proceed to mingle and choose who’s best to sit next to.
If Rylee had a job at 101 Collins, what would he do? A concierge. Always happy to meet new people and say hello to total strangers with an air of authority.
